don't just sit and wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain.

this is a quote i recently read, and wish i followed this theory and boogied in the drizzle way sooner.

the past year has felt like a massive waiting game (cue jeopardy music). my partner in crime Lars has been waiting to have invasive back operation, metal rods and all. M.R.I after M.R.I we were told he must have this procedure...must must must. tests, specialist appointments and constant worry of 'how the heck are we going to manage after this op with two little girls that are like wound up springs ready to pounce and bounce at any moment'??
"okay" says the specialist "one more M.R.I, i just want to check something before we go ahead"...low and behold...no, in fact the rest of your back will slowly collapse if we do this. no operation. ever. manage it with diet and exercise.
i can't do anything for you.

silence. it felt like our house was silent for about a week. there were relieving sighs heard...but most of all. what now? no more waiting. the sun shines again. Lars suddenly has a plan of attack for his work and many goals put aside resurface...full steam ahead.
but for me, what now? i had written off a year of being solely devoted to my man and to my kids. my personal goals erased.
after the numbness of a week...my head is suddenly a massive rave for ideas and possibilities, foot thumping, whistle blowing, class A taking ideas. larger than life. i mean sure i am mother first, partner when needed...but now i have a space just for me. my list making obsession has flared up.

i look back and wonder why i stopped everything the past year. i became vanilla, when i really wanted to be raspberry swirl or some far out tooth aching flavour like 'treasure chest'.

somethings i want to accomplish with the next year...

1. finish my children's book. i only started it 6 years ago...(6 years!! really??) write it and illustrate.

2. paint out all the cream walls in my house. the cream walls the suck the life out of me. creaaaaaaaaam.

3. indulge in a new fandangle camera. and learn to use it. this might involve reading instructions.

      3a. read more instructions.

4. sew something. anything. this unshakable need  to sew. not that i know how. maybe an abstract cushion of some sort.

5. i have a spectacular idea to paint our new letterbox. so do that before the ants in our current one stop holding it on the fence.

6. dance in the rain. and love it.

i need to take a leaf out of my girls book, Indie and Honor. i love Indies little tush and honor's muppet hair in this pic- mid boogie. play in the rain.



and play in the sun too. because summer is still my favourite season.